The Annual Halloween Sonnet Contest 2002

Zachary Taylor,polar explorer and NCS test grader, won the grand prize.( Entry 11)
An all expenses paid trip to the Buckhorn Tavern in beautiful down town Laramie.

For the record, I did not include any entries this year of my own creation. Any reference to the name Joe is purely coincidental, I am sure, as it rhymes so well with so many things.

Any feedback on whether or not you would like to see this continue would be gladly accepted.

The entries are:

Entry 1

Daylight bled its last droplets of gold
On the freeway. The wheezing breeze
Stepped with stealth, carrying secrets of old
Tombs and ripe apples, caressing naked trees,
Stalking bits of trash. An unseen bird
Shrieked once, in fear or pain, then silence
Reigned again. The lone graveyard
Lay dormant beyond the doddering fence
Beneath the maniac grin of the moon.
It's All Souls Eve. Stay indoors, my friend.
Keep your doors and windows tightly locked. Soon
The dead will rise and roam. Pretend
Not to notice the shifting shadows and half-heard sighs.
The dead lives tonight while the world slowly dies.

Entry 2

Apprentice dense with
press ident set precedent
became president

Entry 3

-- I'm flattered.....(editors note)

Oh no my computer won't go
Joe
This network is too slow
blow
The printer is hacked
wacked
where's the cluster
fluster
not root permission
wishion
have no fear
joe is here
relax - it was just a deer
here have a beer

Entry 4

One Highway 1

I almost drove right past it
about two smokes after Solon
Trying to keep up with the Jones'.

The last three rows of dried corn
Two errant heifers
and a short length of old fence
framed this wiry red oak,
Situation more than stature.

Entry 5

Haiku
hello, my name's joe
i run poetry contests
at the yoo wah yo

so now it's my fault?
maybe i should just walk away.
fuckin bitch went nuts.

i don't know haiku?
go and fuck yourself asswipe.
i shit on basho.

there is no just war.
get re-elected. get rich.
all pretenses gone.

we sip our java.
vying for complacent ranks.
who barks now? go away.

Entry 6

for veracitosity challenge me all my words
the blindening thoughts glancing off my head
focused intelligentics steep my wits
don't mess with Texas, you danged twits

of to conquist a thoroughrotic victory upon Iraq
y'all dared us all again
don't get fooled again
won't get fooled again
sing praises o' my right wing nut flock

poetic justice emblazettes my words on the page
in a presidental rightnesseous rage
I bask in misunderestimated glow
a half-chewned pretzel suppinated at my tow

final thoughts for y'all to memorial to commits
don't mess with texas, you danged twits

Entry 7

#1:
Trick-or-treaters at my door
Want some sugar? Sure, have some more!
Don't cry to me when your tummies ache,
I'm not your mom, for heaven's sake!

#2:
Trick-or-treaters at my door
They keep coming, more and more!
To my house they all are swarmin'
Sigh! At least they're not the Mormons.

(I could not rhyme w/Jehovah's Witnesses)

#3:
Trick-or-treaters at my door
There's a Batman, there's a whore
(Britney again!?)
They all want my Blow-Pop suckers
But they're all mine! You little f...

Entry 8

flaming bush, on fire
inner green, fleeting splendor
iowa peace 'fore snow

Entry 9

sonnetized for your protection
grasp and grab poetry's connection
don't simply count on convection
heat the walls with fires of hell
remove asbestos and burn the bell

a torch, torch, torch burning bright
dripping plagiarism through the night
right or wrong actions on the site
brought down the old icon
as many eyes fixed it upon

now as the orbit another year dictates
flat and proper the roof it rates
reconstruction it will only state
the poverty of our goals

Entry 10

Looking through the pane of glass
At the winged creatures darting and scratching.
Watching then eat on feeder and grass
Some polite, others bold and snatching.
I return to my coffee and morning paper.
The news, the muse, the editorials, the fluff
A war impending; another frightening caper
Crack! A sound at my window, I breathe enough
On the ground a beautiful winged creature convulsing
Its precious life precarious, waning and leaving
I watched its tiny body, its fate repulsing
Rushing out the door, no time for grieving
Into the paper bag, keep it quiet, not to see
It rested through the night, then flew away,
miraculously FREE.

Entry 11

Squeaking whilst dripping blood and gore,
a partially flattened mouse rapped at my door,
he related, "it's a harrowing night to cross a road,
but it would have been much worse to be that toad,
who lies completely flattened to breathe no more
on the road not 10 feet from your floor."

On he continued,"nevertheless, i pursue my sacred chore.
i hold before you this bag, this bag of poor
old toady's quietly steaming viscera."
then to myself, I thought - do I discern a...?
no! a trick such as this would leave me sore,
temptations ways do so implore...

The ones who would rap upon a door,
so candy to those and see them no more.

Entry 12

I hate election season.

Watching a political ad today,
Candidate X is against partial birth abortions
(And you call yourself a democrat!)
How can YOU be against a medical procedure that
the doctor says is necessary to save HER life?
Who gives YOU the right to choose whose life is more important?
HERS which is, or that which may be.
This is NOT a political decision,
It's a personal one.
And very PAINFUL.
So Candidate X, why should YOU
have any say in this matter?!
I hate election season.

Entry 13

Eldritch yet awesome,
ghoulish but cool,
the death's head cheerleaders,
are looking at you.

Zombiettes find you attractive,
in fact, it's so distractive,
that your glaring audacity,
with displays of cranial capacity,
have them drooling towards you.

Now, they are near,
so, let's have a cheer,
softly in your half-bitten ear,
by then you'll no longer be able to hear,
BRAINS....SEND MORE BRAINS!!!!

Entry 14

1. Most People
simply
can't
Deal
with the
Objectivity
of my
Numbering
SYStem.

2.

Entry 15

Botany on Halloween

We just met
and I could take on the world
Maybe not with one hand tied
Death would be so sweet
Bloody and torn Rome falling all around me
I can see you, slightly above me
looking into my eyes
You would say
"There is no pain in ending. Look, see the beauty of a begining."
Joy would flood over me
out of me
through me

Entry 16

(Editors note: A syntactical error prevented this one from being
included. My apologies to the author who will remain nameless.)

"This is Not My Entry," a poem by Jeremy Faden:

this is not my entry

That was the poem "This is Not My Entry" by Jeremy Faden

Feel free to vote for your favorite. Send me an email with the entry number noted.

Chuck Close says "START WRITING! Or you'll end up like this."